Sometimes I Get Hungry #25

Part Two

A Guide To Success: Dance Music: Part 2

The 27th Law of Power.

Besides your music, the second most important step to success is connecting with your fanbase. There’s a positive, nearly 100 year method, created by Dale Carnegie, that’s now sold over a hundred million copies and has stayed on the best sellers list since then. Then there’s a highly manipulative, extremely effective campaign, currently being used by a lot of promoters, the Mountebank Method. Since its best to end of on positive note, I’m going to start with that first.

Law of Power #27 “People have an overwhelming desire to believe in something. Become the focal point of such desire by offering them a cause, a new faith to follow keep your words vague but full of promise; emphasize enthusiasm over rationality and clear thinking, Give your disciples new rituals to perform, ask them to make sacrifices on your behalf. In the absence of grand causes, your new belief system will bring you untold power.” – Robert Green from “The 48 Laws of Power”

We all know that the world is full of misery and sadness. People just don’t want to hear about it anymore. They want to believe in anything that can drive the emptiness and sadness away. They want to be transported, uplifted, they want euphoria. Any of those words ring a bell? Because I know they are constantly used to describe all the mainstream shows I refuse to go to. They’re gimmicks and key words that have been used by charlatans to attract and manipulate the gullible for hundreds of years. But they work now, and unevolved shows are packed because of it. Instead of being pushed aside by the simple subliminal programming of a hashtag telling people to party, it’s time to use this tactic for yourself. The Mountebank Method is easy and just five simple steps.

Step One: Be Vauge. Be Simple–Since most people’s problems are complex; sometimes deep neurosis or heavily connected interpersonal social factors, few have the attention or patience to deal with them. This has given a gateway to idioms being used; like “Let Go Sessions”, which is basically come hang out in a huggy drug den, or the dye cast over the term “Rage”, which screams “ Come release the frustration of your typical, mundane life by smashing into each other on a dancefloor”. You must use your words as flares, signaling an oasis in the barren landscape of modern existence. Mantras have to broadcast a standard against the boring and cynical world. They have to be attractive, full of great resonance, but shrouded in vagueness that would make Worhol blush. You have to invent deep, yet manageable titles for everything involved in the social circle you’re trying to create. They have to be full of promise, yet never carry the danger of details, and I mean everything. From your pregame rituals, to what you call your music, to drug codes. Most important is your music. You have to separate yourself from the crowd. Use titles to be astounding, spectacular, amazing… basically anything Spider-man would call himself. Recent examples that come to mind are Future (it’s the next big thing again, you know) and Deep. Slap those titles in front of anything and your so Meta. Don’t condemn yourself to satisfying with promises though. It will put you and your momentum in serious peril. Remember to follow the simple hierarchy of social structures depending on the people you want to attract. If you want bring the attention of the youth, you need to use trends and buzzwords to catch their attention. If you want to attract the basic crowd, you have to present them with their basic needs. Call your shows “Sophisticated and Sexy”, to allude that the women who go there are beautiful and classy. This will bring thirsty, lonely bastards who are going to be willing to buy drinks for said, delusional about their looks women. The swell of a commotion will attract the passersby. Once you have their attention, you can proceed to the next part.

Step Two: Showcase Aesthetic and The Sensational over The Intellectual–People want a show. The easiest way to lose people’s interest, is to be boring. I’ve been to horribly predictable shows and heard people the next day talk about how great the visuals were, or how attractive the artists looked. They had forgotten how lame the music was because the image burned itself into their mind. Don’t be ashamed of using this procedure, also. Julius Caesar did it and he made himself Emperor. Everything he did, it had style and theatrics. Even when his troops lost in battle, he would stage great festivals to distract the people. Could you imagine the ancient stadiums full of hungry, enslaved people, being given the grandeur of extraordinary heroes fighting unfamiliar creatures from exotic lands? Of course, you’d forget about the loss of a distant territory. For every triumph, no matter how small or banal, Caesar command his men to parade through the streets, with hundreds of horns and drums blasting under the tall, magnificent banners of eye catching colors. Given the opportunity today, I’m sure Julius Caesar would come out to lasers and gigantic, convulsion inducing screens that would force your attention onto him and only him. Modern entertainment has to combine all forms of media to appeal to all the senses. Conditioning a person through the most primitive of senses will have them returning to you over and over for more. If you dazzle your fans, as well as your detractors, with show, they won’t have time to question your intentions or actions.

Step Three: Steal Concepts from Organized Religions To Structure Your Group–Whether you’re a Juggalo or a Sister Mother of the Trance Framily, the same parameters are to be used to indoctrinate and keep people involved. Understand that religion has controlled huge numbers of people without question, for the entirety of their lives. The most successful organizations follow the same guidelines. First; create a ritual. Tell them to dress up like a ghastly specter (like the tribes trying to ward off evil spirits), or fairies (like the Pagans), or covered ceremonial beads (like the Buddhist intricate prayer beads). Anything to strip them of their identities and into your image. Tell them to bring totems with your face on it. Tell them to leap into the air at your queue. Have them associate as much with you and your music as possible. Then you split them up into categories. Each level has to be more exalted than the next. The more they listen to your instructions; the greater the title. When you address them, it has to be on the level of a healer, of a guru. You have to wish them prosperity. P.L.U.R. (short for peace, love, unity, and respect) has been associated as far back as the Hari Krishna movement, when they began to recruit Westerners into their religion. Don’t be afraid to use the simple wants of those struggling through life, with no questions asked or judgments hurled. Welcome anybody willing to abide by you rules. And when you instill that hope, you ask for a sacrifice. To buy a T-Shirt for some cause that you champion. An overpriced sticker for ruin their paint jobs on their $2000 laptop. Anything that is a piece of you, which they can hold and revere. Anything to symbolize that connection you have with them.

Step Four: Hide Yo Money–So many people pretend to be well off because it will attract people who want the same. But you must never come off as hungry. Your style and image must speak for you, because it will save you from incriminating your intentions. Selling out is not an option. Why do you think there is such backlash against manufactured Kandi being sold at yard sales and on playgrounds? People are not stupid and will not respect if you whore a piece of their culture that you are creating with them, back to them. If you stay clean, people who want the same success will follow your every move and you will become a trendsetter. You will become proof that your way of life is a standing truth, a force on its own path. You will be the key for them; a key to everything they want, and they will do anything for you.

Step Five: Use Negativity To Create Rivalry–They trust you, they know what you can give them. Now it’s time to keep them. The easiest way is to unite them under common goals and if anybody at all goes against those shared hopes and dreams, you turn your following against that cynic. Whether it’s anybody trying to denounce your style of music, your events, how many times you play a certain song, you go after them. If anybody says one snide word about you, tell you fans to remove them from their social media, erase their music off their data. Tell them to throw their vinyls against the wall. Learn from Peri’gord Tallyrand, French Minister and one of Napoleon’s most trusted advisors. A man who survived a string of revolutions and civil wars with style and pose. Not only did he assist Napoleon in his conquest, he also used Napoleon to bring a broken France back together. Seeing the ruin Napoleon was leading his country into, Tallyrand had find a way to free France from the grip of Napoleon without being labeled a murderous conspirator. He chose Joseph Fouche’, head of the secret police and the man behind an assassination attempt on his life. The mutual interest of surviving the guillotine of a dissatisfied mob is more than enough to bring the bitterest of enemies together. Plus, everybody loves a redemption story. One that unites the righteous against the evil suffocating the people in its grasp. One that exemplifies how desperate the situation is if these two ancient enemies have to get together to take down. Think Sonic and Knuckles or Gokou and Piccolo or America and anybody we dropped a nuke on. After Napoleon was exiled to the island of Elba, Tallyrand was still a part of the Ministry. There he faced the divided halls of men reaching for power. None trusted him because of his service to Napoleon, but had to respect him because of his loyalty to France. They conspired against him, because they knew he was the greatest threat to their new ploys for power. Seeing a broken nation, falling into plagues of power struggles and governmental stalemates, Tallyrand had to rid himself of not only his enemies, but that of the nation’s. So he used a common enemy to bring a country together again. Napoleon, still dependent on Tallyrand’s guidance, came back to France on Tallyrand’s advisement, driving all of the splintered factions of upstarts, and Tallyrand’s enemies, out. When Napoleon’s coup failed, one destined to fail from the beginning, Tallyrand was left standing alone and in the optimal position, a savior of the people against tyranny. If the situation can be worked out, people will flock to any events or materials you work on together, creating more interest, and starting the Mountebank Method on a whole new crowd. One who softened up by the noble sentiments of forgiveness and redemption. If you cannot gain from the fall of an enemy, use them against the next upstart who tries to come after you.

If any of what I just said left a bad taste in your mouth, I understand. They are cruel vicious tactics used by men who became legendary figures. The problem with them, is that they are just that. The tactics are used by the people who have no interest except that of their own goals. The commonality of these maneuvers have subjugated people for years. However, everybody knows that the greatest and most noble way you can impact a person’s life is through genuine connection. The master at creating that connection is Dale Carnegie, who will talk about him next week, in Part 3, Dale Carnegie Strikes Back.

This Week in Music

8 FREE TRACKS PLUS AN ENTIRE EP–Really I’m surprised at my selections this week. If you want honesty, I’ve been staying away from anything that has Deep or Future in it. Recently, I saw a few despicable displays of people trying to up sell a style of music, while not understanding who or what they are talking about. It’s been quite a sad display by the bandwagoners, so I’m going to go back to some classic styles while they fight it out over how long they’ve supported it.

Loge 21 – 50 Degrees

Ok, let’s take a minute with this whole Future House situation. This is a perfect example of it, without getting too mainstream decadent or Garage. Yes, the BPMs are a bit faster than usual House templates. Yes, it follows the Club Vocal sample medium of 90’s Dance staples and borrows bass from the Deep side. But it doesn’t cross into the Big Room/Commerical styles or press too heavy on the rhythm like EDM slop. Singled out collisions don’t play up to genre stereotypes of the last five years. Just because they are trying to market something, doesn’t mean it’s right, or that you have to sit by and let them piss on whatever genre they want to. Honestly, I’ve always thought of the Future title as more of Bass driven genre with more Funk touches. But I guess that’s me.

Vincent Coleman – Beast (Wilks Remix)

Now, I don’t know why or when I added both Vincent Coleman and Wilks to my feed, but I’m glad I did. This track sets a mysterious, dark example to the trait stealing surge of campy crap we are getting at modern shows. The simple, but distinguished vocals remind of the Acid House steady days. Every level of sound presents itself, without suffocating the other to continue with the song progression or the build-up. Shared this track with a lot of my friends and am glad to share it with you.

Djemba Djemba – Macking In the Car (I Don’t Drive)

 I apologize to your speakers right now, because they are about to get broadsided. A prime showing of how to make big bass without sounded stunted, muffled, or dated. Touches of the UK scene, as well as hyper Singapore Slayer mods. I’m just gonna sit here and tap my glass coke bottles for a minute.

Flight Facilities – Crave You (Adventure Club Dubstep Remix)

A Dubstep Remix of a Three Year old song? I must be on some sort of nostalgia trip. Well, they just put it out, so it’s new to me. Using a tried and true formula, of beautiful lyrics with intense driven effects, it serves a modern template of how to make Dubstep without having to get carried away into the ugliness of overproduction. Leaving room for a proper snare and a parallel bassline, it’s a respectable addition to a Dubstep fan’s collection.

Debbie Deb – When I Hear Music (Jauz Remix)

My girlfriend dropped this song on me, it’s a blend of Wobble, Bass, and Groovy Electro. The cut into the lyrics is a bit too drastic the second time around, but when the bassline picks up again, it’s forgotten about. God, I’m really trying my hardest to use the term House, nowadays…

Dillion Francis – Masta Blasta 2.0

Dillion Francis has been giving away a lot of remixes and that’s a good thing. Most of it is playful stuff, like this Moomba grammar listen in tropic bass. Personally, I think it’s better than the original version, with cleaner flux points and transitions. Anyways, if you like Dillion Francis, you’ll like this.

Mr. CarMack – Drugs EP

First of all, I really don’t know how to describe the EP as a whole. There are so many influences spread out across the seventeen tracks. There’s a lot of Glitch Heavy, LA Bass, there there’s a lot Far Out, Centralized Grime. Then there’s some subtle lead ins that up most of the song like “Dark Hadou”. Personally, my favorite is the “Drugs” track itself. A solid free EP, to introduce you to Mr. CarMack.

Also, the thing about this EP is that it reminded me I have like five “Move That Dope” Remixes. So I felt like it was a perfect time to put them up.

Mr. Carmack – Move That Dope (Remix)

Excuse the YouTube video, but there’s not standalone file to show you the song, but it comes on the Drugs EP anyways. This one keeps the vocal in the forefront and doesn’t hurt it. The bass effects and light duration make it prime to be played around with for an easy segue.

Angelz – Move That Dope (Remix)

The vocal on this remix is used to accent the track and it reminds me how much I used to like the Clipse. Still it’s more of the sub focused, Hip Hop G House than the other two. If anything it’s more for a club with a hard lead in and a concentrated transition out. If you’re going to try and throw some Iggy Azzela after it, just leave; get out of here.

Dave Luxe – Move That Dope (Remix)

This one is my favorite of the three, only because it was different enough to get stuck in my head. Chill bass measures, synth cuts and happy-upbeat percussion send this some to a whole other level. I appreciate the production.

Next Week – Winning People Over And Making A Difference in Dance Music

Raul Chacon is a self-aware douchebag, who only listens to bands you’ve probably never heard of. His years of writing for literary reviews and magazines, lead him to a couple of scholarships for his work, which he quickly squandered by moving to Austin and going to shows six days a week(instead of class). Eventually, he became a touring security guard and witnessed hundreds of shows and dozens of festivals firsthand. He would tell you how many shows he’s been to; but there’s too many holes in his brain at this point.


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