Sometimes I Get Hungry #28

You know what’s scarier than Halloween? Christmas. As much as I love the redundant slutty costume jokes and a constant excuse to flaunt a Tim Burton chubby, Halloween represents the last big party before five months of hibernation mode. Everything that follows Halloween frightens me. The drained venues and nightlife, empty slots on my calendar where shows and events should be, the listless cabin fever and exaggerated holiday celebrating used to break its symptoms, which always lead to highway tragedies. Devil’s Night has nothing on the amount of suicides and murders that the 25th of December has. The darkest and most traumatic of memories are usually scented with mistletoe and holly. So what can we look forward to?

Vinyl Porn Presents Black Friday Record Store Edition

November 28th, 2014 has more to offer than hive mind duplicity and sudden stampeding uprisings for a flat screen. Normally known for Earth Day, 4/20 placement, Record Store day has ramped releases to shed some social light on Black Friday. Let’s talk about the substantial Electronica, oops, E.D.M. releases.


Afrika Bambaataa & The Soul Sonic Force – Planet Rock

A classic of classics, Kraftwerk inspired, written, and sampled monument of an album. I’m not going to review this, it doesn’t need it. Universal and endemic, dropping any track off of Planet is almost instantly recognizable. This pressing comes in a “Glow in the Dark Edition”, but that almost makes it unplayable to a serious vinyl collector. This puts the simple ethics of most variant collectors, to play or not to play. You play it you’re a show off, you don’t play it you’re a miser. Sure I’ll be looking for it, but I really won’t know what to do with it.

Diplo – Florida

First ever vinyl pressing, this really exemplifies why I look forward to Record Store Day. Released in 2004, the album is brimming with instrumentality, Drum and Bass, and Trip Hop. Still, underneath all that influence, the ethos of Diplo’s signature tonality is highly present. Now that people are discovering the pre-boom era, albums like this can be appreciated. Whether you’re into his most recent successes and directions, this album can easily clear those stigmas. Hopefully more releases like this can show the current crowd what strong promise we came from.

And next on the list…

Nothing. Not one other fucking album that I would suggest. Not if your mainly into Electronica, damn, I mean E.D.M.. Yes there are some really great pressings of some rare vinyls, like Rammelzee V K-Rob- Beat Bop, a underground Hip-Hop benchmark, Great Alternative rereleases like The Afghan Whigs- Gentlemen at 21 and They Might Be Giants-Flood, even more special editions like Wu-Tang Clan’s C.R.E.M.E. in a special die cut version that looks like the Wu symbol. There isn’t anything else that I can recommend on the Electronic front. You can argue with me about Strfkr and Imagine Dragons needing to be mentioned, but no. Not one prime Techno release. Nothing from the last few years, or five years; Daniel Avery, Disclosure, Porter Robinson, those guys that spend more time on top of the dj booth than behind the decks, that dude with the mask (Just pick one there’s a bunch to fit the bill). The releases are solid, Miles Davis, Mastadon, hell even Little Richard has a ton of hits on his repressing, but no Electronic. It’s really sad that our genre, who was basically nothing but vinyl, has such a sad showing. I don’t want to be a finger pointer and a label thrower anymore, because it’s getting us nowhere. The reason why DJ’s were respected, by classically trained musicians and other wise, was because it was so easy to fuck up a vinyl set. Your hands were tied and it’s that handicap that separated the talented, or the diligent, or just the mindful, from some sloppy club DJ playing background music for the drunk and the desperate. To see that small amount of vinyl love on Record Store Day Black Friday just reminds me how much the more established and lasting cultures think ours is just a fad. It scares me, they might just be right if we let this continue.

This Week In Free Downloads:

Ok, you ready for some real scary shit. Because I have FIVE FREE DOWNLOADS and a frightening mash up EP. Brace yourself. I warned you.

life after porn

Jayceeoh & Sasha Grey feat. Bella – Heat of the Night

Holy fuck, what nightmarish world do I live in. To think that the jump from Adult films to DJ’ing is so easy. You already have a gimmick. All you need is to get somebody else to compose your tracks or set lists and look pretty for the crowd. This type of Progressive House can only be appreciated by those with severe brain damage from years of deep throating and mentality removing yourself from situations, like an abuse victim, or somebody who just go into the scene, like last week. This track adds nothing new to the culture. It’s just another carbon copy of every club DJ with no will or intent to contribute to the genre. It’s just another person cashing in on the trend.

David Ress – Aphex Swift

Nightmare scenario number two; what if I told you that there’s a really interesting mash up of Aphex Twin and Taylor Swift out there? There’s also a spider crawling up your leg right now. Well the first one is true. There’s something about the frantic beauty of Window Licker lined up with Swift’s comforting predictable vocals that works. I had to erase Starlightlicker off my player because it got stuck in my head. But Ress is playful, almost with dark 8-bit vibes and solidly timing his Window Licker selections with those bubble crumb lyrics. It’s amazing to see how talented Richard D James is, if they can create this from his music.

Chris Bushnell & Rowland Evans – She All About

Back to normal music for a minute. Here we have a great Tech House dance track that keeps Bass and Ambience balanced. Oh my god, I just imagined Richard D James head on Taylor Swift’s body and it’s dancing around like some twisted DMT fantasy. Anyways, Rowland Evan has a couple more tracks on his soundcloud to check out. This is club music done right. Short and sweet like the song.

Depeche Mode – Should Be Higher (Barber’s Club Mix)

Anthemic, sexy Techno, where I know all the basics are going to play out, so I’m just glad to get it to you before them. Well, it’s slightly House ranged, but the formulas play out 8-4-8. And then that Taylor D James tries to kiss me and I move away, but not fast enough for beard not to scratch me. My hands fight against that skinny girl body by that bull shark of a face keeps wrestling for attention. Fuck, sorry. Anyways, that Depeche Mode sample is grand. The ending could close up much stronger, but I can’t hold such a fine composition down.

Ejeca V Bicep – You (Ejeca Night Version)

Hopefully you read last week’s S.I.G.H. so you know what a Night Version is. Deep House set up with refined Disco affixes. The looping and peaks are fine, although the mid casing could use a bit more flux or progression. That keyboard just doesn’t do it for me, just like when Taylor D James starts singing Twengerbittytwo2 and somehow the face morphs into the Taylor’s and the body into James’. I’m lost in indecision, because I can’t hurt the poor creature. It came out of my unconscious guilt. It’s my Pyramidhead. It’s the projection of how I like guilty pleasures in music and have no way to fight against it.

Arts The Beat Doctor feat. Ella – Little Brother (Lazy Thunder Remix)

I just let Francis D Swift finish it’s song and I give it a thumps up and thank you. Thick hairy knuckles and programmer Kimbo arms try to pull me in close for a hug. Its lips leave a big red lipstick mark on my cheek. The bony, masculine grasp leave bruises on my wrists until I run away. This Little Brother track is perfect to wash out that Aphex Swift insanity from my mind. Garage, slightly jungle, heavy on the bass and even harder with the spacing. It’s like voodoo potion that somebody leaves me in a last will and testament. Everything on the Lazy Thunder remixes was spectacular, in a cautious format. Like if it knows I need to cry in the shower.

Next Week: Still crying in the shower

Raul Chacon is a self-aware douchebag, who only listens to bands you’ve probably never heard of. His years of writing for literary reviews and magazines, lead him to a couple of scholarships for his work, which he quickly squandered by moving to Austin and going to shows six days a week(instead of class). Eventually, he became a touring security guard and witnessed hundreds of shows and dozens of festivals firsthand. He would tell you how many shows he’s been to; but there’s too many holes in his brain at this point.


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